


What’s Cookin’ Good Lookin’ ?

by spicyyramen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack Fic, F/M, One-Shot, Prompt generator made me do this, You Can’t Cook For Shit, just for fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25690531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicyyramen/pseuds/spicyyramen
Summary: While waiting for your boyfriend, Sawamura Daichi; you decided to cook dinner.or the daichixreaderwhocan’tcook au nobody asked for.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Reader
Kudos: 16





	What’s Cookin’ Good Lookin’ ?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnonymousArchive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousArchive/gifts).



> Hey hey hey~! 
> 
> First of all, thanks for checking out this story. 
> 
> Second of all, this is really a crackfic 🤣 pls do not try this at home.
> 
> Laslty, shoutout to @AnonymousArchive for being Beta and sending this prompt for this crakcfic to exist. 
> 
> Side note, the Teen rating was for the mild swearing and some implementations on kinks. 
> 
> Enjoy~

You were a bad cook. Which was why your parents left you with some cooked meals in the fridge whenever they went on business trips. And they also had tasked your boyfriend to sort of be you makeshift guardian if ever it ran out. 

Yup, in this relationship Daichi was the one who be doing the cooking, who be doing the cleaning— just everything really. But you knew you balanced it out by being the cute and funny one. (Oikawa can never.) 

While Daichi was having late night practice with the Karusuno kids, you decided to make him dinner before your very very late night study session. 

Of course, you could’ve heated up the food on the fridge but you wanted to do something special. Since you were always sort of a freeloader (except in academics. You sort of took that shit seriously. All for it to achieve an average score that usually fell around 80+ 😌. Forced contentedness. That’s what it is.) 

You went around Pinterest, Tiktok, Youtube, and finally gave up on learning complicated recipes. (By complicated we mean complicated. Period.) So you decided to text Suga cuz he be the mom and mother knows best. A few short minutes later he sent you a link of a ramen meal that seemed pretty doable so you hopped on it. Momentarily wondering why the hell you didn’t see that because it came from Tiktok. 

The video featured three versions of cooking ramen. You could’ve cooked it like how it was said at the back of the packet like any normal human being. But the ramen in the Tiktok video looked to delicious 🤤. You had to try it! 

So screw normal. 

You were going to cook delicious Tiktok ramen. From the three ways it was featured on how to cook; you went for the third version. The one where the ramen was cooked with milk. (Because it was the easiest) 

You fetched a packet of ramen, a carton of milk and placed it near the stove then you got a pot. 

You began boiling water in the pot but then forgot to wash the pot so you tossed the not yet hot pot’s water into the sink, ran some cold water, sent a silent apology to your parents for the water bills, and placed it back on the stove. 

You added water again and got the packet of instant ramen. It seemed like it was fit for one person, so you decided to add three more because Daichi was an athlete and some times you could be such a pig for good food. 

Your feeling a little bored because the boiling is taking way too damn long (by that we mean one minute), so you opened your phone and took a boomerang to post on Instagram and then moved on to learning Tiktok dances. 

After forever, you finally went back to the pot and could see the bubbles that happened in the video. You slit open the packets of ramen and placed all the noodles inside the pot. With a sigh, you’re bored again so you decided to binge watch some Studio Ghibli films starting with Spirited Away. 

——-

Thats weird the house started to smell a little off and theres grey smoke..? You paused the video of your fifth movie (which was Marnie Was Here, if any of you were wondering), and turned your head towards the source and -

SHIT. 

YOUR DINNER WAS ON FIRE. 

FUCK. 

And you know what else was on fire? 

THE FUCKING KITCHEN. 

Your parents were gonna kill you.  
Daichi was gonna murder you.  
You considered doing them a favor and just burn with your meal. 

BUT NO. You had to live. (sigh) 

You never paid attention to fire drills at school (which you probably should have), but based in commercials; you figured to get a washcloth, run it through water—from the bathroom cuz’ the kitchen’s on fire, then cover your nose-mouth area like a surgical mask. You quickly hit Daichi’s contact and he picked up after two rings. 

“Hey Y/N, sorry I’m going to be late for-“ 

“Daichi!” Your voice was slightly muffled due to the cloth but you were sure it was still audible. (Well more of hoping it was). 

“Y/N?” You heard some clothes rustling and some distant voices in the background. “Are you okay? Where are you?” 

“The house is on fire!” You made your way out the house, while swatted some grey smoke away. 

“Shit! I’m on my way.” You heard more panicked voices in the background on the other end as your hand hovered over the handle. 

A picture of Daichi’s cold face and eerie smile slipped into your mind and sent a chill up your spine. 

Daichi was amazing as a boyfriend... but Dadchi? 

Ayayayayayay. 

That was something else...

You looked behind you, and noticed that the fire hasn’t spread too badly. It was really just in the kitchen and the smoke wafted everywhere. 

Your boyfriend was saying stuff at the other end but you sort of just tuned him out with the thoughts bouncing around your head. 

While it would be nice for your muscle man to turn into a hunky firefighter; you really didn’t want to see Dadchi. 

Dadchi was fucking scary. You would rather party with the clown from IT, Chucky even Oh Sangwoo would do! Anyone but Dadchi. 

(Actually scratch that— all of them were scary— you’d rather not with any.) 

You quickly ended the call and typed single handedly in Safari different ways to put out a fire. 

So you learned that salt and baking soda can put it out. That’s nice to learn. If only they weren’t in the kitchen. Where the fire was. You felt your heart pounding against your chest as a wave of anxiety wash over you. 

Ah yes. 

You were screwed. 

Next option was to smother the fire with wet cloth. Your eyes shifted to the wet washcloth pressed against your mouth. You couldn’t help but raise a brow. This little thing? 

You decided to give it a try because you really didn’t have any options left. And while you were at it— you went to grab the hamper conveniently sitting in the living room with a pile of freshly cleaned clothes inside. You dragged the hamper into the shower and let it rain on you and the clothes. 

Your clothes were soaked but you really didn’t care at this point. Plus it would be weird if you were naked while putting out a fire. (Like, seriously why?) 

You dragged the hamper out of the the shower and thanked whatever god told you to wear navy blue today. It was enough that you had burnt dinner, burnt kitchen, you really didn’t want to get scolded for 👀 well you know. 

Do we really need to spell it out for you? 

Dadchi be mad asf. 

As you drag the hamper through the hall, you felt your phone start to vibrate. The first person you thought of was your boyfriend because duh. You idly wondered if it was your neighbors but they didn’t seem to care. 

Finally you arrive in the kitchen. 

AND OH FUCK. 

IT LOOKS LIKE HELL. 

SATAN COULD LIVE THERE AND DRINK HIS KAMBUCHA WHILE JAMMING TO ONE DIRECTION. (Don’t ask.) 

You idly imagine Nishinoya and Tanaka, the idiots you vibe with, and what they would do during the fire. 

They’d probably do the same. 

And what was that? Throw all them clothes like they were snowballs like it was fucking winter. 

You started with the nearest flames. The memory of the search said you sort of needed to pat it down? So you grabbed a chair and carefully clapped it over the clothes.

BIG MISTAKE.

BECAUSE NOW THE CHAIR IS ON FIRE. 

FUCK.

You really wanted your boyfriend to be here to handle this shit for you. But you also wanted him not to be here because your really really sure he’s going to give you a scolding.

And its not even the kinky kind 😫. 

You threw in more clothes. Then proceeded to wave some around and smacked it against the floor—the table—just everywhere your really didn’t know anymore with all this smoke and fire and how were you not burnt yet? 

It was really hot and you were sure a fever might happen to you tomorrow because of the sudden temperature contrast. And the fact that you didn’t even dry your hair! 

Your ears started to ring while you felt the adrenaline surge within your veins. It was like you drank five cups of coffee after pulling an all nighter. 

You pretty much felt like a zombie. 

A pair of strong muscles wrapped around your torso. And for a quick second you got more terrified than before because who the fuck is this and when did they get inside the house?

The fire couldn’t kill you and now someone else is-

“Y/N!” Your eyes meet with a familiar shade of brown. You could feel the heat of the flames lessen and a new comforting heat behind your back. And somewhat you also felt you were being dragged away with your feet sliding on the ground. You also felt a gentle hand patting your head and for a moment you relaxed. 

Your hearing returned, but not really fully there? Or its just that so many people are screaming bloody murder— well looks like this head ache was here to stay. 

You felt a gentle kiss make its way to the side of your forehead, and you relaxed more into your boyfriend’s arms. 

Not long after, the noise piped down and Asahi gentle handed you a glass of cold water. He also mentioned it came from the neighbors. (Huh, so they did care.) 

You were still in the protective arms of your boyfriend when something much more threatening than death itself happened. 

“So.”

You slightly choked on cold water as it drizzled sloppily down the sides of your mouth. (Thank god no one was taking pictures). Sensing the daunting mood Asahi dashed away— not forgetting to give you puppy eyes as an apology. 

Fuck. 

You felt a hand gently pat your back as you resurface from coughing. “So...” You echoed what he said. 

“So tell me babe.” He led, with an eerie smile that put Kuro’s scheming one to shame. 

You tried to plaster a smile with the same energy, but it was a fail as you felt yourself shrinking from the intensity of his aura. “Tell... y-you what?” 

“This morning,” He started, teeth gleamed and you felt yourself grow pale. Fuck. “What was the one thing I told you not to do?” 

You weren’t a child! 

But if Dadchi wouldn’t be this scary to children... ah! Who were you kidding. 

He’s a fucking nightmare. 😭

The glass slipped from your hand and immediately; Dadchi caught it. 

You took a gulp of your own saliva. (Gross 😖). You let your memory sync with your mouth as you replied with early afternoon’s warning; “Don’t burn the house down.” 

His smile widened and you found that Kageyama’s Kuro-sensei like smile to be less scary to this. “And what did you do?” 

You looked away from the nightmare before you and opted to the view of your own house. Still intact with a slight gust of smoke wafting out the door. You squeaked out, “Made you dinner...” 

There was a beat of silence and you felt your heart pound as if it was nighttime and you badly needed to pee but you believed in ghosts and the lights were out. 

You were fucking terrified. 

After numerous scenarios of how to get away from Dadchi; you gave in and quietly added, “and burnt the house down...” 

After that, you never quite made dinner again. You might try again, but only under supervision. 

And for the next few days, Daichi made sure to give you you cooked meals for dinner. This was mainly because the kitchen was pretty much ruined, and totally not because you didn’t know how to cook 😗.

Now all you have to worry about was your parents...

**Author's Note:**

> In case any of you were wondering what the prompt was; 
> 
> Daichi: What was the one thing I told you not to do?  
> Me: Burn the house down..  
> Daichi: And what did you do?  
> Me: Cook you dinner..  
> Daichi: ...  
> Me: ...  
> Daichi: ....  
> Me : And burned the house down...
> 
> Again, thanks for reading!!


End file.
